A History of JaquelinRose - Pt. 2

Before Jacky's very eyes was a Wikipedia article she never imagined could exist. Right in front of her, beaming with an unusual and eerie glow was a page dedicated entirely to her. Uncertain of how it came into fruition, she became overwhelmed with a feeling of apprehension and numbing fear. She promptly shut all her windows, locked all her doors and drew all her curtains to a close, when she finally realised it was bucketing down with rain. This only heightened her fear.

Compelled by a sudden feeling of curiosity, Jacky decided to seek out the creator of her mystery page. Being Wikipedia Expert Level 564165156181, she had a few tricks up her tattoo sleeve (she doesn't really have a tattoo sleeve, I was just trying [and failing] to be clever). Checking the page's 'History' tab, she could see only one IP address logged as contributing to the information contained within the page, and she knew exactly whose IP address it was...

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Although that's also a good place to leave the story hanging on a cliff hanger, I have decided to continue the story for two (2) reasons.

1. I haven't written much thus far, and I feel I would be cheating you by only posting a half-arsed attempt at suspense
2. I promised Jacky not to turn this into a soap opera; the very definition of soap opera including half-arsed suspense at the end of each installment, between which nothing much actually happens

So on I go...

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What Jacky saw shocked her even more so than the mystery page about herself. A little 'weirded out' as she would put it, she promptly shut down Internet Explorer (or Firefox, depending on who wants to sponsor this Blog), and pulled out her Optus (again, I'm very open to offers [but not from Telstra]) internet connection. Quickly, she opened Microsoft Word (Mac version 2008 anyone?) and began her document with

Help,

I do not...

Suddenly, Cam the Microsoft Word paperclip appeared and decided to offer some friendly advice. 'It looks like you are writing a letter' he said rather sheepishly. 'Would you like some help?'. At this, Jacky screamed at Cam the paperclip, 'No, I am not writing a f**king (am I allowed to swear on here?) letter, and I most certainly do not need instructional lessons on how to write a letter from a computer generated paperclip such as yourself!'. Of course, this was no use, as computers cannot hear humans, nor understand their speech (well, this one couldn't anyway; must've been a Mac...), so Jacky's outburst was futile. That being said, she didn't know any better as her years dedicated to Wikipedia's mystique had led her to forget about societal 'norms'. Thus, Jacky continued to rant and rave until her cows came home, expertly rounded up by her faithful dog, Drew.

When the cows arrived in the paddock directly outside Jacky's bedroom window, the fragrant waft of methane brought with it a transcendent calm. Realising how rash she had been, she profusely apologised to Cam the paperclip (her best friend of five years), and decided to raid her Papa's fridge for a glass of warm milk (don't question her logic there, it made sense to her at the time).

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Obviously, it is easy for one to assume, from all this Wikipedia trawling over a span of five years, with very little sleep in between, that Jacky is somewhat socially inept. This couldn't be further from the truth, the truth being that this is a fictional piece of work, should not be taken seriously, and that in real life (I assume), Jacky is actually a lovely young woman, with fine social skills, and is generally well loved. However, the show must go on...

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Still shivering slightly from the fear of her Wikipedia page and the person who created it (although it was probably from the ice-cold glass of milk she was drinking that she thought to be warm), Jacky heard a loud, booming knock on the front door. It brought with it an authoritative sense of command, almost daring Jacky not to open it. She crept up to the door with the stealth of a sledgehammer, knocking over several seemingly immovable objects on her way, before peering into the peephole that wasn't there yesterday (but is now here for the convenience of this story). What she saw almost made her faint from shock...