Monday 13 April 2009

A History of JaquelinRose - Pt. 1

A dark, wind-swept figure filled the sky swiftly and without warning. Its ominous aura imposed itself immediately on a small city cowering with fear as they simultaneously ducked for the nearest cover they could find. One girl dared to be different however. She was already inside. Even during what was not long before a glorious, sunny day, with a crisp, yet delicate autumn breeze, JaquelinRose dared to stay indoors. You see, Jaquelin had a rather unique problem (although I myself call it an addiction). She was addicted to Wikipedia.

As the rain bucketed down on a city in quick retreat with a relentless and uncompromising force, Jacky took no notice of the commotion that was occurring outside. She had just found the page dedicated to one of Reno's four brain cells (yes, a specific one), when suddenly the page stopped loading. Fearing the worst, she checked her connection status, and signed into MSN, Gmail and DBD at the same time just to make sure her computer was right in telling her that the rain had not affected her ability to surf the web. They all signed in almost immediately, yet Wikipedia continued to stall. Deciding that she'd have to take a gamble, Jacky hesitated as the mouse hovered over the refresh button. Was it worth it? She decided it was and took the plunge...

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Thankfully, the page loaded this time, but what she found disappointed her greatly. Wikipedia had removed the page, as it wasn't considered to be 'noteworthy', or 'of importance'. Jacky begged to differ, as she found it incredibly fascinating that Reno had even one brain cell, let alone four. However, she decided against contesting the decision, and continued mindlessly strolling through the cyber labyrinth otherwise known as Wikipedia.

Undeterred and continuing on her endless, and ultimately pointless endeavour, she came across the page dedicated to Kevin Rudd's pompous smirk. She wondered how this was allowed to remain on the site while Reno's poor remaining brain cells withered into oblivion, however read on, mildly intrigued by the topic. For example, she was interested to know that he first smirked on a gusty August day, when the wind suddenly changed, and he was thus stuck with the unsavoury expression for all eternity times infinity, as stipulated by disturbed genius Mill, and further reinforced by old wives tales.

Clicking on Mill's link to see the stunning photo of him that some extremely thoughtful member of the Wikipedia community had so graciously uploaded, Jacky was immediately taken aback by a new link she didn't recognise as belonging to Mill's page. She liked to keep a constant eye on his page, editing it back to its former, pristine condition in the rare case of it being taken over by jealous vandals. However, this wasn't the work of vandals. This eerie link made even Jacky - Wikipedia Expert Level 564165156181 - surprised at the content that Wikipedia may sometimes contain. Slowly, she drew her mouse to the mysterious link, and clicked on it, almost fainting in shock at what she saw...

3 comments:

  1. hahaha mill this is awesome! can't wait for the next one!

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  2. i bet that she'll get pasty skin from all the computer usage!

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  3. i would never wish such a thing on jacky... sheesh

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